Horton Hears a Review

Dr. Seuss has been a childhood staple long before Dora the Explorer, long before the Wiggles, long before Sesame Street and about as long as Disney. Whether we've read the books or not, most of us have heard of Dr. Seuss's wondrous stories of the Who's weaved around rhythm and rhyme.

HORTON HEARS A WHO is the third Seuss book re-imagined as a movie(the entertaining HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS, and the mediocre CAT IN THE HAT are the other two) but the first to employ the brilliant CGI animation of Blue Sky Studios (brought us ICE AGE). The animation is beautiful and vibrant bringing Horton's world to life in details unlike anything we've seen before (they also use different animation styles such as a hilarious nod to Japanimation). None of this gets in the way to the surprisingly fulfilling tale.

The movie centres around Horton, a free-spirited quirky elephant (voiced by the goofy mimicry of Jim Carrey), who one day hears a voice coming from a tiny speck that he captures on a clover. The voice is of the distraught Mayor of Who-ville (Steve Carrell) in need of guidance. Together they must convince their respective society's the existence of the other (i.e. Horton must try to prove that there are tiny people living on that speck or they'll get destroyed; the Mayor must prove that there's a giant invisible elephant lording over them in the sky determining their fate).

The religious overtones are difficult to avoid but not a distraction. Dr. Seuss stories are, as I'm discovering from rereading them, parables and lessons for everyday life taken, at times, right from the Bible. Horton's lesson is "a person's a person no matter how small" with a sub-lesson of "God is watching over all of us and he just very well be a giant invisible elephant in the sky!"

Every character in this flick is important and the producers spared no expense in bringing in talented actors for those voices. Take a look at this list (Carol Burnett as the close-minded Kangaroo, Seth Rogen as Horton's best rat friend, Will Arnett as Vlad the vampirous vulture, Amy Poehler as the Mayor's wife, Jonah Hill from SUPERBAD, Jaime Presley, Jesse McCartney...the list goes on and on).

Bottom line, HORTON HEARS A WHO is a great fun movie for children and peppered enough with adult references for a few chuckles for the rest (though it could've used more pepper from my point of view). Still it's an entertaining ride and a great escape on this Easter weekend.

7.5 specks out of 10.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!

Can you smell what THE GAME PLAN is cooking?

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson found his niche when he strayed away from trying to do movie remakes like WALKING TALL (the original was done better...not much though) and video-games-turned-Hollywo

od flicks like DOOM and SPY HUNTER and instead headed towards football movies. The Rock (now wanting to officially shrug off his wrestling nickname and only go by Dwayne Johnson) is in his comfort zone whenever he plays a football player...and whenever he brings out his Elvis routine. THE GAME PLAN showcases both of these skills.

Dwayne Johnson...er, The Rock...I can't bring myself to call him Dwayne...plays an ultra talented quarterback with the world as his oyster. Anything he wants, he gets. He's larger than life both physically and in personality. Life rolls along until his 8 year old daughter (adorable Madison Pettis from The Disney Channel) he never knew existed appears on his doorstep looking for a place to stay.

To say THE GAME PLAN is a blood, sweat, and tears pigskin movie like GRIDIRON GANG or REMEMBER THE TITANS would be misleading. This is a Disney production. And where there's Disney, there has to be a little kid that one-ups the adult (i.e. The Rock) with family friendly comedy and gooey messes. Family friendly Disneyfied hilarity ensues.

Will your kids enjoy this movie? If they like Disney live action comedies,they will. Is there enough in this movie for the adults? Not really. The Rock is sugar coated and the comedy is forced. But he's good enough to make his character passable...but he's more in his element in the football scenes.

6 Rock Bottoms out of 10

SEMI-PRO is Semi Good

(Editor's note: Yes, I had that title saved in my back pocket desperately hoping I could use it. So don't ask. Heh heh.)

Jackie Moon said it best in this movie: "No refunds! Consider your refund escaping this death trap with your lives!" (Funny line in context)

SEMI-PRO is another one of your usual overacted, slapstick riddled, 70's throwback, star-studded Will Farrell vehicles that is either a hit or miss.

Now, I must preface this review in saying that I've never been a huge fan of Farrell in his days of SNL (even though he was the best part of his era and carried the show much like Joe Piscopo did in the early 80's). I admit I got a huge laugh out of BLADES OF GLORY, TALLEDEGA NIGHTS, and ANCHORMAN even though I wasn't expecting much. And did you ever notice how Farrell plays the same inept, childlike, duck-out-of-water-with- a-misguided-heart character in all his movies? But this isn't a bad thing. He's perfected this role and has spun it into a great movie career (like what Jim Carrey did for butt talking and rubber face mugging). But in watching SEMI-PRO, I can't help but think that this character has reached its shelf life and is nearing expiration. It's a lot of the same old stuff as before but with a basketball.

SEMI-PRO is scattered with long forgotten but talented comic actors such as Will Arnett (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT), Andy Richter (LATE SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIAN), and Rob Corrdry (THE DAILY SHOW). And anchoring this movie in reality are gifted performers who you feel are either big Farrell fans or lost a bet to star in this movie (Woody "White Men Can't Jump" Harrelson, Andre "Outkast" Benjamin, and Maura "ER" Tierney).

There are enough moments in SEMI-PRO to make you laugh but not so much to make you feel the movie was worth the price of admission.

Bottom line, if you dig Will Farrell, you'll like this watered down comedy version of him. If you don't get Farrell, go watch ANCHORMAN as an orientation. It's essentially the same movie, a lot funnier, and you get more cheesy mustaches.

6.8 Alley Oops out of 10

EASTERN PROMISES a nude fight scene starring Viggo!

Mafia movies are guaranteed to bring you three things:

1. An over-confident boss operating behind some domestic front like a restaurant or a laundromat.
2. A young heir looking to take over the family "business" more sooner than later.
3. Lots of crushed bones, buckets of blood, and a sidewalk full of half smoked cigs. (Combined into one for brevity's sake.)

We've seen this tried and true formula before in last year's Best Movie pic (THE DEPARTED) and in countless classics like SCARFACE, and THE GODFATHER. EASTERN PROMISES delivers all of these must-haves with a Russian Accent and a naked Viggo Mortensen.

We follow a young nurse, Anna (Naomi Watts), searching for the relatives of a baby who's mother died in birth. Her only guide is what's written within the mother's diary written all in Russian. In her search, she stumbles into a world of Vodka and names ending in "-ov" known as the Russian Mafia. Here, she meets a friendly chauffeur with a dark streak and looking like the blond Russian boxer from ROCKY 3 (I Will Break You!) named Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen).

Viggo Mortensen (of Aragorn-fame in the LORD OF THE RING trilogy) carries this complex character with intelligence, strength, and poise as he tightropes between the raw ruthlessness of the mafia and the true honesty of Anna. He bares all for his craft including a long fight scene where he fends off two assassins in his birthday suit with mighty Anduril swinging to and fro for all to see. Apparently, there is such thing as TOO MUCH Viggo. Still, this doesn't take away from this amazing role.
EASTERN PROMISES was produced by Focus Features (an independent subsidiary of Universal Pictures). I've never been led astray with movies from this company. As soon as I see they were involved with this movie at the opening, I knew I was in for at minimum a great story on a shoestring budget (well...shoestring in Hollywood means they only throw a few dozen mil at its production). Focus Features have also produced other great (but outside the norm) movies like BEING JOHN MALKOVICH (1999), THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES (2004), TRAFFIC (2000), LOST IN TRANSLATION (2003), and this year's IN BRUGES (2008). I highly recommend anything in their repertoire. EASTERN PROMISES is no different.

This is your atypical mafia movie taken from a slightly different point of view.

7.5 Viggo Chin Dimples out of 10